This show inspires me to have sex in space
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
