He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
