I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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