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HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
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