I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Enjoy the penises