I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner