It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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