one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
smell my finger.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm really busy with my period
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