Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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