Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize