I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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