Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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