apparently the secret to your success is patron
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
