i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
