I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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