Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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