I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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