im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
