Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
