Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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