In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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