just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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