This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
