A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
