dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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