Non-Jews are for practice
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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