Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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