"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
