that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
