I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's official drugs can't kill me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
