I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
God, I missed his penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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