we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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