Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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