She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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