this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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