So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
dude. I can hear the air.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
