this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
