I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize