love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
