You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
