the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Randomize
