Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
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Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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