I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just high enough for therapy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
