there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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