you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
