They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
