My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
