I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
