Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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