I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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