Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
