3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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