Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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