I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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