May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
