No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
