Small penises have feelings too.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
