I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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