Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
