Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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