And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
